A friend sent me this today. It made me howl. Especially after the last few days as the better half has not been here.

Flo has managed though to take up three quarters of the bed…….and I can’t believe how much she snores!!

Enjoy and post your comments!! Sorry about the format it is a copy and paste job!

FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO HAVE PETS, THIS IS A TRUE STORY. FOR THOSE THAT
DON’T, IT IS A TRUE STORY.

The following was found posted very low on a refrigerator door.
Dear Dogs and Cats: The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain
your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Placing a paw
print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it
becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing
in the slightest.
The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Racing
me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn’t help because I
fall faster than you can run.
I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry
about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure
your comfort, however. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when
they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other,
stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking
tails straight out and having tongues hanging out on the other end to
maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is no secret exit from the bathroom! If, by
some miracle, I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is
not necessary to claw, whine, meow, and try to turn the knob or get your
paw under the edge in an attempt to open the door. I must exit through
the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years
canine/feline attendance is not required.
The proper order for kissing is: Kiss me first, and then go smell the
other dog or cat’s posterior. I cannot stress this enough.
Finally, in fairness, dear pets, I have posted the following message on
the front door:
TO ALL NON-PET OWNERS WHO VISIT AND LIKE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT OUR PETS:
(1) They live here. You don’t.
(2) If you don’t want their hair on your clothes, stay off the
furniture. That’s why they call it ‘fur’-niture.
(3) I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
(4) To you, they are animals. To me, they are adopted sons/daughters who
are short, hairy, walk on all fours and don’t speak clearly.
Remember, dogs and cats are better than kids because they:
(1) eat less,
(2) don’t ask for money all the time,
(3) are easier to train,
(4) normally come when called,
(5) never ask to drive the car,
(6) don’t smoke or drink,
(7) don’t want to wear your clothes,
(8) don’t have to buy the latest fashions,
(9) don’t need a gazillion dollars for college and
(10) if they get pregnant, you can sell their children…

See what I mean oh how true,

Best Wishes

Denise